Nice Guys
Sep 03, 2013     

Image taken from lavalife.com
Before you read this note, I just want everyone to put their bitterness or experiences aside because we all have stories to tell when it comes to the topic of "nice guys".

So, DO nice guys really finish last? Maybe, but not always. Why is the saying "Nice guys finish last" so popular? There is a phenomenon that nice guys always lose to the jerks when it comes to picking up girls. While this is mostly true, there are ways to turn the tides if you first understand why girls choose the bad guy over the nice guy.

Nice guys are... well, nice, and sometimes a little too nice. There are certain attributes to this "Nice Guy" character. They'll basically do anything for the girl even if it means getting out of his way. They'll also agree with everything she says or wants to do. Eventually, because he'll agree to anything and everything, he won't have any opinions of his own. She wants to go somewhere an hour away? He'll drive her there even if he's in the middle of something. She asks where he wants to go? He'll say something along the lines of "doesn't matter, wherever you want to go is fine". The role here is no different than a taxi driver. Everything is about her... all the time. This seems rather desperate since nice guys will do anything just to be with the girl. Fact is, girls don't exactly want nice guys; well, at least not the nice guys described above.

Because nice guys will do anything (and tolerate anything), they end up spoiling the girl. If she disrespects him, he'll still be around. If she does anything bad, he'll still be there. This actually encourages her to treat him badly because he spoils her and she knows that he'll still be there.

Now, being the nice guy, one would think that doing all the right things for the girl would give you the advantage to end up with the girl. But that's almost never true. The thing is that in a relationship, in order for someone to "seem valuable", the other person must feel like they need to spend time and energy on them. In other words, the nice guy spends lots of energy and time on her just to keep her around. But for her, she doesn't need to spend any time and energy on him to keep him around. This makes the nice guy seem invaluable.

This sort of works both ways but with guys and independent girls, it's the opposite. For example, if you're a guy, would you rather be with a girl who is independent, doesn't ever need you much, and does everything herself? Or would you rather be with someone who's dependent on you and wants you to help her do things? Most would say the latter because it makes them feel needed, and that's a good feeling.

The lesson here is that don't just be "nice" and do all the work, throw some of your opinions in there and let her get to know you more before making a move. Image from explosm.netThis will make her feel you're valuable and a great catch! Don't worry though, after a couple times of being rejected as the nice guy, you'll adapt into someone who can balance being a nice guy and being confident. After all, mature girls end up with nice guys... mainly because the saying "Nice guy finish last" is only half of it. The full quote should be "Nice guys finish last, because they make sure their woman finish first"... if you know what I mean


Tags: nice, guys, finish, last, nice guys, finish, nice guys finish last